Fettuccine Carbonara

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Fettuccine Carbonara: The Ultimate Comfort Food (With Bacon, of Course)

Software (a.k.a. Ingredients)

8 slices extra thick bacon sliced into 1/4-inch strips (because thick bacon makes everything better)
1/2 cup water just trust me, it’s necessary for bacon magic
4 eggs the golden gooey goodness
3/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese get the good stuff, people
1 tablespoon bacon drippings we’re going for flavor here, not moderation
Fresh ground black pepper because who wants bland?
1 lb dry fettuccine make sure it’s fettuccine; it’s a whole vibe

Procedure (a.k.a. The Magic)

Sizzle the bacon: Slice your bacon into strips and throw it in a non-stick skillet with the 1/2 cup of water over medium-high heat. Stir the bacon around a bit to make sure it’s all happy and plump. Let it simmer away while the water evaporates—this is your bacon’s “warm-up” before the crisping begins.
Crisp that bacon: Once the water’s gone, turn the heat down to medium-low and let the bacon render its fat and crisp up. It’s bacon, so don’t rush this step. Reserve 1 tablespoon of that glorious bacon fat—this will be your secret weapon later.
Egg, cheese, and pepper time: While the bacon is doing its thing, crack your eggs into a bowl and mix them up with the Parmesan cheese and a good dose of black pepper. Set that bowl aside for later—don’t overthink it, just let it hang out.
Boil some pasta: Now, get 8 cups of water boiling in a Dutch oven (or whatever giant pot you have lying around). Salt it with 1 tablespoon of kosher salt and cook the fettuccine according to the package directions. Don’t forget to stir occasionally so you don’t end up with a pasta brick.
Preheat your setup: About 4 minutes before the pasta’s done, fill a large glass bowl with hot water. You’ll need this to make everything come together like magic.
Bacon fat to the egg mixture: At the 3-minute mark, drop that tablespoon of reserved bacon drippings into the egg and cheese mixture and stir it up. This keeps the eggs from scrambling—no one wants scrambled eggs in carbonara!
Pasta water is your friend: At the 2-minute mark, add 2 oz. of hot pasta water to the egg mixture. Stir it in like you’re making a smooth, velvety sauce.
Preheat your bowls: At the 1-minute mark, drain the hot water from your large bowl and preheat your serving bowls. I know, it sounds fancy, but it’s worth it to keep everything nice and hot when it’s time to serve.
Pasta time: When the pasta’s done, use a pasta fork (or tongs if you’re feeling wild) to transfer the fettuccine straight into your large glass bowl, letting it keep just a bit of the cooking water. It’s like pasta with a little extra personality.
The egg transformation: Pour that egg and cheese mixture over the hot pasta. Toss it like you’re giving it a gentle massage, making sure every noodle gets coated in creamy, cheesy goodness. Don’t rush this—take 2 to 4 minutes so the heat from the pasta can cook the eggs and make them all silky.
Bacon, baby: Crumble that crispy bacon over the top and toss again. Now we’re talking—this is where the magic happens.
Serve it up: Portion the pasta into your preheated bowls, sprinkle with a little more Parmesan (because why not?) and dig in. You’ve just made carbonara that’ll make everyone in the room think you’re a pasta wizard.